The Silent Suffering: The Real Impact of Emotional Abuse on Mental Health

Emotional abuse is a silent and often overlooked form of abuse that can have a profound impact on mental health.

Unlike physical abuse, the scars of emotional abuse may not be visible, but the pain and suffering it inflicts are just as real.

When you are suffering from emotional abuse, you may doubt yourself, think you are making up the impact it has on your life, and even gaslight yourself by denying what is happening to you.

These are common reactions to emotional abuse, and it often starts in a non-invasive way. You may not know you are experiencing emotional abuse until it already has a negative impact on your life.

It’s not too late to spot the signs.

Signs and Symptoms of Emotional Abuse

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According to Healthline, some signs of emotional abuse may include the following:

·      name calling

·      yelling

·      insulting or ridiculing

·      gaslighting

·      attempts at control in your life

·      isolation from friends and family

·      making threats

·      spying on you digitally

·      making all the decisions

·      constant lecturing

·      silent treatment

·      walking out

·      having moments of rage

·      trivializing

·      disputing feelings

Emotional abuse is intended to scare, control, and isolate you.

You may find yourself withdrawing from friendships and relationships.

You may even start to develop the long-term impact of social anxiety as emotional abuse happens again and again. It is normally not a one-time incident but rather a repetition of abusive behaviors.

You aren’t making it up if you are seeing these signs in your relationship or relationships. If you are still unsure, a professional therapist can help you to reality test what feels like emotional abuse to you.

Engaging a therapist in your recovery can be crucial to your healing.

Now that you understand the signs of emotional abuse more, it can be helpful to know the impact it has on your mental health.

The Impact of Emotional Abuse Has on Mental Health

Some of the short-term effects of emotional abuse may include low self-esteem, shame, and self-doubt. It can be challenging to trust yourself when your reality is being questioned by someone else.

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Low self-esteem can happen because of the put downs you experience regularly through emotional abuse. Shame may develop because you may begin to believe that you are worthless.

Your perception may become skewed when you are experiencing emotional abuse, and your truths may not be the actual truth. Self-doubt can occur when there is gaslighting and consistent self-questioning.

You may start to ask questions like:

Did that really happen?

Am I overreacting?

Why do I make such a big deal out of small things?

There are so many times when things go well; Why do I have to upset him/her/them?

According to Emma Rose Byham, author of Was It Even Abuse? and curator of the Instagram community, personal growth project, common questions can also include:

Is it me?

Am I crazy?

Am I too sensitive?

The long-term impact of emotional abuse can take a toll as well. Some of the long-term effects may include depression, eating disorders, chronic pain, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety, and depression.

If you find yourself consistently defending the person who is emotionally abusing you, it may be time to evaluate the situation with a professional.

Friends can be helpful too as they have your best interest in mind, and they are not trained to spot the signs of emotional abuse.

You may also find it more difficult to be completely honest with a friend or family member about what is going on. This is when a therapist or trusted counselor can help.

Healing and Recovery From Emotional Abuse 

Emotional abuse can be pervasive and sometimes goes undetected. Even though there are major implications of emotional abuse, there is also the possibility of recovery and healing.

You are not alone.

Healing after emotional abuse can be challenging, and it is not impossible.

What is most helpful when it comes to emotional abuse recovery?

Build a support network.

Your support network doesn’t have to be (and probably should not be) your friends. Friends can be part of your support network, and the benefits of having other professional and peer supports protect the relationship with friends from becoming your sole support. Which can change the dynamics of relationships.

Reach out to a trusted therapist, grief group, or survivor group like https://www.violencefreecolorado.org/

Stop trying to fix the abuser.

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It can feel really satisfying when you feel like you are the only person making a difference in someone’s life. The truth is you are likely not the only victim of the emotional abuser.

When you can, let go of the person. To start, stop trying to fix them.

Set boundaries and stick to them.

If you say you are going to do something, do it. It can get complicated to set boundaries, especially when marriage, children, and finances are involved.

This is when a trusted professional can really help.

Seeking Professional Help for Emotional Abuse 

Often, emotional abuse can be too complicated to tackle by yourself. This is not the time to be a hero.

According to Denver therapist, Julie Reichenberger, MA, LPC, ACS ,”I’ve seen many people struggle to make sense of the confusing and conflicting messages they received from their emotionally abusive partner. Many also struggle with the question: ‘How did this happen to me?’

For many reasons, people find themselves in emotionally abuse relationships. It may be a pattern that is familiar, or a new scenario all together.

The truth is, very rarely is someone obviously emotionally abusive in the beginning.

It happens over time and with confusion tactics that leave those questioning how they got in this position feeling shame, embarrassment, fear, and confusion.

These questions are ones that can be explored with a licensed therapist so you can understand and have more insights for future relationships.”

Don’t be afraid to reach out for support so that things don’t get worse in your relationship. You deserve a loving, trustworthy partner.

Continued emotional abuse can stem from childhood trauma, and a therapist can help you to see these patterns when you may otherwise ignore them.

Because emotional abuse is designed to create self-doubt, a person like a professional counselor can help you to discern what is happening in the situation.

Overwhelm may be a sign that you are already being impacted by emotional abuse, verbal abuse, narcissistic abuse, or abusive behavior. It is not too late to get help.

At Denver Metro Counseling, our Denver therapists can help individuals navigate emotional abuse in their relationships. Using a trauma-informed approach, our therapists can help you to develop the skills you need to make a difference in your own life.

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Written by: Randi Thackeray, MA
Clinically Reviewed and Edited by Denver therapist: Julie Reichenberger, MA, LPC, ACS, NCC