Are You Sober Curious? What It Means, Benefits, & Trying It Out

Article written by Denver therapist, Molly Ward, LCSW, LAC

Are you curious about sobriety?

Maybe you’ve just been wanting to explore your relationship with substances?

It’s that time of year where Dry January becomes the hype. Although it’s never a bad thing to give your body a break from substances for physical and mental health reasons, extreme changes like this can be hard to maintain at times.

As Denver therapist, Julie Reichenberger, LPC, stated, New Year’s resolutions tend to be ineffective because our goals can be too drastic or extreme, making them hard to maintain. 

Sober curiosity gives an opportunity to learn more about our relationship to substances without necessarily making drastic or even permanent changes.

It allows us to be more conscious of our substance use and have more intention and boundaries moving forward.

And although the term sober curious was born from the author Ruby Warrington through the book Sober Curious, The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, Limitless Presence and Deep Connection Awaiting Us All on the Other Side of Alcohol, I believe this idea can also be applied to marijuana use as well.

The Sober Curious Movement

In a lot of ways, our society revolves around drinking and has normalized its overconsumption.

Read More: “Resolutions Don’t Work. Trying Something New, With Intention Does.

This is why historically, we saw those that explored being sober were doing so because they had a severe problem with their substance use or had “hit rock bottom”.

You either had a problem with drinking or you didn’t.

But substance use occurs on a wide spectrum.

Being sober curious can happen regardless if you think you have a “problem” with substances. It doesn’t have to stem from addiction or dependency.

It also doesn’t mean that you want to be sober permanently.

Sober curiosity steps away from the “all in or all out” mentality and helps you find a place along the spectrum that works best for you.

Sober curious means exploring the roles that substances have in your life. It means meeting yourself where you are at and making modifications as needed based on your individual needs.

For some, this does mean a completely sober lifestyle. For others, this may mean moderation in their alcohol or marijuana use. 

Both Millennials and, even more so, Gen Z are embracing this curiosity and challenging old norms. They are learning the ways that sobriety or moderation can actually increase joy in life and help manage mental health concerns as well as physical health.

With the drastic reduction in marijuana sales here in Colorado, as well as alcohol sales across the country, we can see that that there is a correlation between sober curiosity and the long term positive impacts.

Benefits of a Sober Curious Approach

From a licensed addictions therapist’s perspective, one of the best parts of exploring a more sober lifestyle is the increased connection that you get with yourself.

Read More: “Breaking the Stigma; Mental Health Resources for Young Adults in Denver”

Substance use is often used as a way to avoid or block certain parts.

With sobriety, or abstinence, we get to learn more about our reactions, triggers, and overall inner workings.

We get to find ways to be more aligned with ourselves and our values. Even just the act of evaluating our relationship with substances helps increase self-awareness and connection with ourselves.

This journey of self-discovery often helps us find more compassion for our us and can help us find more pleasure; something that we may have been subconsciously seeking with our substance use.

Other benefits of sobriety, abstinence, or moderation that we have seen in research include a decrease in symptoms of anxiety and depression, as well as better sleep, more energy, and better concentration and memory.

There are also numerous other health benefits such as a stronger immune system and a decrease in risk of cancers. 

How to Get Sober Curious

Be Mindful

The first step is to simply notice your relationship to alcohol or marijuana. How often are you using? How is it making you feel, both physically and mentally? What are the benefits for you? What are the negative impacts? How does it impact what activities you do? How does it impact your relationships? Does it get in the way of alignment with your values?

These are just some questions you can ask yourself to begin to create awareness. Often times we learn a lot about what we are really needing in life when learning about why we use substances in the first place. 

Set Boundaries

Now that you’ve assessed your relationship with substances, where do you want to be?

Wherever you land doesn’t need to be where you stay forever, but where could you land on the spectrum that might be more aligned with what you want at this time? 

Whether this is sobriety or “sober sometimes”, figure out exactly what this looks like for you and set clear boundaries. This might mean stating your intention out loud, planning activities differently, or reassessing your social circle. It might also mean finding more support as you navigate this journey.

Create Community To Support Being Sober

As I mentioned earlier, if you are sober curious, you are not alone!

Read More: “Breaking Generational Patterns: Become A Change Maker In Your Family”

There are so many people exploring this culture and a surplus of resources that isn’t just Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). There are MeetUps that focus on sober activities, free monthly calls with other people that are along the sober curious spectrum, Facebook groups and Discord servers to connect online, sober bars, etc.

The more connection there is, the easier it is to learn about yourself and the benefits of being sober curious.

If you’re feeling like you’re needing more support in exploring your relationship with substances, connect with a therapist who understands the sober curious concept.

They can be a compassionate person to ask you the questions that may be hard to explore on your own and help you figure out where you’d like to be on the spectrum without creating shame or guilt. 

Sober curiosity is also not the answer for everyone.

Therapy can help you figure this out and explore other options as needed.

The sober curious movement invites us to be more mindful and intentional in our relationship and consumption of substances.

It’s a journey of self-discovery and authentic living and can lead to a more fulfilling life.

Sober curiosity isn’t about what you might lose, but what you will gain along the way. 

***

Molly is a Licensed Addictions Counselor and Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Denver, Colorado.

Denver Therapist, Molly Ward

She loves helping people navigate balance in their life.

Whether it’s through taking a sober curious approach in exploring your relationship with substances or an intuitive eating approach to your relationship with food and your body.

She understands that all-or-nothing doesn’t work for most people and that exploring our relationship with the way we navigate the world and our emotions is at the core of making change that benefits us.

With her values-based, authentic, fun approach to therapy, therapy can feel less overwhelming and can help reduce guilt and shame that many people associate with wanting to make change.

If you’re curious about making a change in your life, and curious about working with Molly, reach out to schedule a consultation.

You can also find Molly on Instagram at @therapy_with_molly