When It Hurts Every Day: Living with Chronic Pain  

Article written by Denver therapist, Lauren Battista

Waking up every day with pain is exhausting, especially when there is no real end in sight and answers feel far away.

Dealing with chronic pain can be extremely isolating and difficult, causing feelings of dread and anxiety that make it hard to live life to its fullest.

This article is intended to shed light on the complexities of living with chronic pain and to offer emotional support, strategies, and a sense of empowerment to those living with or supporting others who are dealing with chronic pain. 

Chronic pain, defined as any pain that persists for more than three months, can affect many areas of the body and deeply impact daily life and overall well-being.

More than one-quarter of adults in the United States live with chronic pain and the experience varies greatly from person to person.

Conditions such as fibromyalgia, migraines, endometriosis, autoimmune disorders, post-surgical pain, long COVID, and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome are just a few examples. 

Chronic pain is often described as “invisible” in nature as there are often no outward indicators that a person is suffering.  Others may not see a person’s experience, which can increase feelings of isolation, frustration, and even depression.

A person living with chronic pain symptoms might look “fine” on the outside while silently enduring a private battle every day.  

The Mental Health Impact of Chronic Pain

Chronic pain doesn’t just affect the body—it can shape how a person feels about themselves, their relationships, and their future.

Read More: “5 Ways To Help Yourself When Your Body Feels Your Trauma”

Pain wears a person down physically and emotionally and can make daily routines and tasks feel insurmountable.

Over time, the build up of these symptoms can chip away at a person’s sense of identity and control. 

It’s not uncommon for those suffering with chronic pain to feel: 

• Depressed because life feels limited, smaller or unpredictable 

• Anxious about flare-ups, low amounts of energy, work obligations, or disappointing others 

• Grief-stricken over what they have lost—mobility, freedom, spontaneity, hobbies 

• Frustrated or invalidated by people and healthcare providers who don’t understand or believe them  

• Disconnected from relationships, goals, and parts of themselves that used to feel strong and grounded 

These feelings are completely normal and are NOT signs of weakness; they are human responses to an ongoing challenge. 

Therapy Tools and Modalities That Can Help with Managing Chronic Pain

While therapy can’t erase pain—it can transform a person’s relationship with it, which can make a significant difference in the amount of control it has over their life. 

With the right support, it is possible to regain a sense of agency and rebuild a life that feels manageable and fulfilling. 

Here are some therapeutic approaches that can help: 

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)- ACT helps people make room for pain without letting it control their life. Instead of waiting to feel “better” to do what matters, ACT encourages people to take small steps aligned with their identified values—even in the presence of discomfort. 

• Somatic Therapy and Parts Work- Chronic pain often creates disconnection between the body and mind. Somatic practices and Internal Family Systems (IFS)-informed parts work can help the two gently reconnect. Through this kind of therapy, individuals can learn to: 

• • Tune into what the body is holding 

• • Befriend the parts of them that are angry, hopeless, or scared 

• • Access inner resources like compassion, calm, clarity and strength 

• Mindfulness and Grounding- Mindfulness teaches individuals how to be present with their experience—without judgment. Grounding tools (like breathwork, visualization, or use of the 5 senses) can support individuals through pain flare-ups or emotional overwhelm. Check out our YouTube channel with exercises for you to try here. 

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Pain
  CBT helps identify and shift unhelpful thought patterns (like catastrophizing or all-or-nothing thinking). It builds flexible, realistic coping tools. The Pain Management Workbook by Dr. Rachel Zoffness is a great resource based on this approach. 

• Journaling, self-compassion exercises, and nervous system regulation techniques can also provide outlets for feeling calmer, validated and supported.  

More Specific Ways Therapy Can Help with Managing Chronic Pain 

Navigating Relationships and Support:

Chronic pain can strain relationships—especially when others can’t “see” what a person is going through.

This can cause people to feel dismissed, judged, or even gaslit, and they might stop reaching out because explaining is exhausting.

Read More: “Counseling for Chronic Illness: Making the Invisible Visible”

But everyone deserves support that feels safe and affirming, and to know that they do not have to go through this alone.  

In therapy for chronic pain it is possible to explore: 

• How to communicate needs without defensiveness and how to talk about pain without shame  

• What boundaries look like with people who minimize, overstep or dismiss a person’s experience 

• Ways to ask for support that feel empowering, not burdensome 

• How to build relationships rooted in mutual care, trust, and understanding 

It is important for individuals to know that they deserve to feel safe, heard, and respected in their relationships (and that they are fully allowed to say NO to people who make that harder!) 

Redefining Productivity and Self-Worth:

In a culture that rewards hustle, “pushing through” pain, and productivity above all else, chronic pain can feel like a personal failure.

But it’s not! In fact, living with pain often requires enormous courage and inner strength, and a support system that understands the ebbs and flows of the journey.

By incorporting therapy into the treatment of chronic pain, individuals can:  

• Redefine what success means on their terms 

• Let go of guilt around resting, pacing, or needing support 

• Celebrate boundaries and body-awareness as strengths 

• See their value as inherent, not tied to output or achievement 

Treatment and Management: There Is Hope

Living with chronic pain doesn’t mean giving up on feeling better. While there may not always be a “cure,” there are many approaches outside of therapy that can reduce symptoms, increase function, and help people feel more like themselves again. 

Some other treatment options include: 

• Multidisciplinary care – Working with a team of professionals (e.g., doctors, naturopaths, therapists, physical therapists) who understand chronic pain can provide more holistic and effective care. 

• Nervous system regulation – Techniques like vagus nerve stimulation, gentle movement (like yoga or tai chi), or body-based therapies can help calm the brain’s overactive pain signals. 

• Medication management – When used thoughtfully, medications ranging from anti-inflammatories to antidepressants may ease symptoms and support quality of life.
  

  Read More: “How to Find a Therapist: Questions to Help you Make the Best Choice For You”

• Lifestyle support – Prioritizing sleep, pacing energy, eating anti-inflammatory foods, and setting up consistent routines can make a meaningful difference. 

• Pain neuroscience education – Learning how pain functions in the brain (like in Pain Reprocessing Therapy or books such as The Way Out by Alan Gordon) can help retrain the brain’s response to pain and reduce symptoms over time. 

Healing may be nonlinear—but progress is possible. With compassion, support, and the right tools, life can become fuller and more manageable again. 

Healing Beyond the Pain

Chronic pain may change the way that life looks—but it doesn’t diminish a person’s worth or capacity for joy, meaning, or connection.

Therapy isn’t about forcing positivity or pretending pain doesn’t exist. It’s about creating space for a person’s experience—all of it—while helping them build a life that feels more authentic and rewarding.

If you’re living with chronic pain and looking for a therapist who sees you—not just your symptoms—reach out to our team at Denver Metro Counseling. We have therapists who specialize in therapy for chronic pain and illness, and would be honored to support you on your journey.

To schedule a free consultation or learn more, contact us. 

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Denver Therapist, Lauren Battista

Lauren Battista is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Denver, CO. She has supported clients as they navigate their own journey with chronic health and chronic pain.

Lauren is a team player at Denver Metro Counseling and looks to elevate her peers and make sure that clients get the best resources and support they need.

Lauren is Level 2 trained in Brainspotting, EMDR trained and supports clients through other trauma-informed modalities. Lauren is a compassionate champion for her clients, her work team and her friends and family.

If you’re struggling with feeling stuck in unhelpful patterns and want to take steps toward something new, Lauren is a great option.

To learn more about working with Lauren and to schedule a free 20-minute consultation with her, reach out today!