Reclaiming Agency: Addressing the Fawn Response in Trauma Therapy

Most people have heard of the fight-or-flight response when it comes to reacting to a traumatic event. They are both natural instincts your mind and body use to protect yourself. But, there are other trauma responses that are lesser known but just as important.

That includes the fawn response.

Someone who uses the fawn response will do whatever it takes to avoid conflict. They will behave in a people-pleasing manner to establish a sense of safety, no matter the cost.

While that might work to escape immediate danger, it’s often rooted in childhood trauma and can cause problems well into adulthood.

Let’s take a closer look at the fawn response, and how you can reclaim agency by addressing it in trauma therapy.

Examples of the Fawn Response

Do you consider yourself a people-pleaser? Do you put the needs of others above your own?

Read More: “How Trauma Therapy is Helpful fo Trauma”

That doesn’t automatically mean you’re dealing with childhood trauma or unmet emotional or physical needs as a child, but it’s worth looking into, especially if you do those things out of fear or to avoid conflict.

There are many signs and examples of the fawn response.

Some of the most common include not being able to say no, relying on others, ignoring your needs, prioritizing everyone else, and always trying to be as helpful as possible.

It may include being overly agreeable, feeling as though you have no identity, pretending to agree, and hypervigilance.

When making decisions it can look like not being able to speak up about where you’d like to go for dinner or a night out, choosing a career based on your parents expectations, missing appointments or other engagements that are important to you to take care of your partner’s needs (who is not in need of caregiving).

The fawn response can lead to dissociation, causing you to feel numb instead of embracing and acknowledging your true emotions. It can lead to resentment of others and fatigue from giving too much. It can leave you feeling as though no one is meeting your needs and a sense of loneliness.

Trauma Therapy

If those examples sound familiar, trauma therapy can help. Knowing what to expect can offer peace of mind, so you can start to feel more empowered throughout your treatment journey.

First, your therapist will dig deeper into an explanation of the fawn response. They’ll help you see how it manifests in your life and what it might be connected to.

Going beyond general talk-therapy like CBT, trauma therapy takes a thoughtful and collaborative approach being mindful of your experiences and what may be most helpful in approaching the origins of your fawn response.

It’s not always easy to dig into your past, especially if your fawn response began in childhood, but it can make it easier to identify triggers and thought patterns.

With a trauma trained trauma therapist, reactions to triggers can be reduced and patterns can be shifted to healthier ones.

Learning to Validate Your Feelings

Your therapist will work with you to help you develop self-awareness.

You’ll learn how to recognize when you’re starting to fawn through things like mindfulness practices.

Instead of fawning, you’ll learn how to validate your emotions and acknowledge them for what they are – a valued expression of what’s important and in need of care.

When you acknowledge your feelings and recognize that they have value, it will be easier to prioritize yourself and stop putting other people ahead of your needs every day.

You’ll also be able to set healthy boundaries in your life so you have time for self-care and reflection.

Read More: “The Balanced Relationship:Understanding Interdependence and Codependence”

This can take time to unlearn and re-learn and having the support of a therapist can be helpful and validating as well.

While they may be hard initially, boundaries allow you to be an advocate for your needs and your well-being.

They can help you gain agency over your self, your time, your energy, and your space.

Building Your Confidence

Finally, addressing the fawn response in trauma therapy will make it easier for you to boost your confidence and build self-esteem.

If you had to deal with trauma from a young age, there’s a good chance you’ve struggled with self-esteem issues for years, which could be why you put the needs of others above your own.

By working through the fawn response, you’ll foster a greater sense of self-worth. Your therapist will provide you with activities that build self-compassion and encourage you to be kind to yourself.

It is nice to do things for others or to treat people with kindness. When those actions override your basic needs, however, and you’re doing them out of fear or to avoid conflict, consider it a red flag.

If you want to learn more about the fawn response or how trauma therapy can help you reclaim your sense of self, our clinical team is ready to help.

***

At Denver Metro Counseling, our therapists are not just trauma-informed, they are trauma-trained and are committed to ongoing learning to support those in need of trauma therapy.

Through trauma modalities like EMDR therapy, Brainspotting, Somatic Therapy, Polyvagal Theory, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) our clinicians work with the approach that best resonates with you.

We collaborate with outside healthcare providers because we see each person as a whole system that includes physical health, hormone health and balance, and more.

To learn more about our Clinical Team of trauma therapists, reach out today.