Grief Is Inevitable. Understanding Grief Can Help You Through

The process of grief can look different for everyone.

You may not have the same response to a loss that your friend or family member has to the loss, and that is okay.

Your grief can look different or similar, and it is likely that it won’t be identical to another person.

Grief is a process that can begin when there is a loss in your life or a change that occurs.

Death is not the only cause of grief or grief reactions.

Grief can be as subtle as one of your favorite restaurants closing or as obvious as a loved one dying. There is still a process that happens when you are grieving, and whatever that is, it is normal.

Image of a person hiking in the forest in the winter. Read More: “How To Process Grief With Patience And Love For Yourself”

When you feel like it is difficult to move forward and maybe even impossible, there is help available.

Trauma-informed therapy can help you to understand why the shift is difficult for you and what you can do in your life to ease the pain. It can be a difficult process, and it is not impossible.

By making behavioral changes each day, you can help be preventative for the next change in your life.

Grief is inevitable. You will not be able to get through a lifetime without experiencing some form of grief in your life, and acceptance of the process can make it easier to move through the process.

Not every type of grief is the same, and a therapist can help you identify what grief you are experiencing.

Types of Grief You May Experience

Prolonged Grief

Grief experiences throughout the day, for most of the day, for several months.

Anticipatory Grief

Mourning before the loss has occurred.

Complicated Grief

Ongoing heightened state of mourning with intense sorrow, pain and rumination.

Acute Grief

The initial period right after a death or loss, usually with intense longing, and sadness with other feelings.

Disenfranchised Grief

Grief experience not acknowledged by your community, or does not fit with societies attitude about death, dying and other losses.

The grieving process can be difficult to manage even when you experience “normal grief” which is what society labels as typical grief responses following a death or other loss in which healing from grief occurs over time reducing in intensity.

Swiss American Psychiatrist, Elizabeth Kubler Ross, noted five stages of grief including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

While this is a common approach to thinking about grief, it is not inclusive and grief should not be limited to these stages, rather the symptoms, feelings and experiences one has in relationship to their grief and loss.

Though you may attempt to process grief through these stages, it will not be linear. Rather, these are typical experiences people may have when grieving; there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

You may experience these feelings several times, while also having feelings and states not listed here. And it can look different each time.

Grief may be part of your life forever and vary in intensity at different times. You can get better at handling grief when it occurs by learning what is most helpful for you and taking care of your needs.

The tools you need are already within you.

Image of the feet of a person hiking in the forest in the fall, with a leaf stuck to the heal of the shoe. Read More: “Moving Forward While Grieving What Once Was”

A therapist can help you tap into the tools you have, especially a trauma-informed therapist who understands the behaviors and circumstances that make grief for you, individually.

Some Signs Of Grief

Common signs of grief vary from physical, mental, and spiritual symptoms.

Though this is not an exhaustive list, it can be a place to start to understand which grief symptoms may be impacting your daily life. Some signs may include:

• Difficult concentrating
• Feeling weak
• Sleeping changes
• Feeling lost or empty
• Wanting to drop out of things
• Becoming overly busy
• Being aggressive
• Seeking constant approval from others
• Isolation
• Forgetfulness
• Dissociation

Emotions That May Come With Grief

The grieving process is tied to numerous emotions. You may feel emotions all at once while you experience the grief process. Some lesser known emotions may include:

• Apathy – You may not care about anything or what happens
• Impatience – You may want things to go quickly
• Relief – Depending on the loss, you may feel a release from anxiety or stress
• Disbelief – You may not accept that the person, place, or thing is gone right away
• Emptiness – You may feel like there is nothing left or that you are nothing
• Agitation – Not every person feels sadness, sometimes you may feel anger or anxiety

Depending on the type of loss, it may not be doable to handle alone.

Your tools can help you to understand what type of help you need.

If you begin to start extreme thinking, suicidal ideation, or big shifts in your daily routine with eating and sleeping; it may be time to seek professional help.

You don’t need to handle the losses in your life alone, and though grief is going to happen, you don’t have to shoulder the pain of it by yourself.

You are not a burden, and therapy can help you to understand yourself in order to make positive changes.

You don’t need to handle the losses in your life alone, and though grief is going to happen, you don’t have to shoulder the pain of it by yourself.

You may be feeling a way that you can’t articulate yet. That is okay. You are not a burden, and therapy can help you to understand yourself in order to make positive changes.

Therapists have the resources to guide you in a direction that can increase the quality of your life. Grief counseling can be a next step to improve your mental health.

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Written by: Randi Thackeray, MA
Clinically Reviewed and Edited by: Julie Reichenberger, MA, LPC, ACS, ACC