From Middle School to High School: A Parent’s Guide To Smooth Transitions

As your teens continue to grow into adulthood and gain independence, it can be challenging to figure out what role you play in helping them transition into the next chapter of their life.

Teens going into high school from middle school often seek independence and it is heavily encouraged from educators in their life as well.

It can be difficult to know what to support and what to question as kids and teenagers are gaining a sense of themselves.

The transition between middle school and high school can be monumental for some teens, and parenting strategies may change in the process.

Though mental health and healthy relationships can’t be perfect, there are ways to help your teen with a smooth transition from middle school to high school.

Tips To Help Your Teen Transition To High School

Encourage your teen to seek peer mentorship opportunities at school:

By getting your teen connected within their new school with peers, they are better able to achieve success.

Practice encouraging trusting relationships so that your teen can grow their perspective taking and inclusion in a new space during this transition process.

It is helpful when your teenager has many people who care about them to help avoid loneliness and isolation.

When your teenager has many touch points throughout the day, they have a better chance of feeling a sense of belonging.

To connect with a peer mentor program, reach out to the school before the year starts. This can also help your student get involved with an activity that they wouldn’t have otherwise chosen for themselves.

An older student may be more influential than parents, so setting up your child for success through peer mentorship can be a first step.

Teach and encourage your teen to advocate for themselves.

Often, being parents means that you have advocated on behalf of your child up to this point.

Read More: “Resilience Helps Teens Thrive. Learn How To Build Resilient Teens”

When it comes to transitioning from middle school to high school, you can begin to encourage your teen to advocate for themselves and even others.

This doesn’t mean that you aren’t supportive and loving on the sidelines; it simply means that there may be a few opportunities where your teen can excel.

A school transition from middle schooler to high schooler can be a way to encourage advocacy.

By allowing your teenager to advocate for themselves, it proves to them that they are strong, which can continue to build their resiliency.

When mistakes are made, incorporate a grow mindset.

As your teen continues to grow up, you have the opportunity to support them so that they don’t think they are helpless when it comes to problem solving.

Advocacy can help teens to build confidence, and with your loving support, they can learn from mistakes in a safe way.

Support your teen in making friends.

When your teen joins a club or sport at school, their social life can grow in a healthy way.

It can help your teen when they make friends who are relatable while transitioning from middle school to high school.

Some of your teens’ friends may have gone to a different school, developed a new identity, or they might have grown apart from one another.

Read More: “5 Tips To Engaging With Your Teen”

It is healthy to see old friendships come apart and new friendships come together as your teen transitions schools. Instead of making statements, you can ask questions.

This may include:

Which sports or clubs most interest you this year?

What is most important to you as you start a new school year?

What feels most supportive to you right now?

How can I best show my support throughout the year?

What school supplies do you enjoy using the most during the school year?

By using questions to have conversations, you learn more about your teen’s perspective and how they are getting along within their social life.

This can be really important so that you can support them in ways that are most helpful to them, rather than guessing what you think they may need.

Talk with your teen about the importance of social media moderation.

It can be difficult to take breaks from screens, and it is crucial to building healthy relationships in real time when your teen sets down their devices.

You won’t be able to manage everything they do; however, you can set boundaries and give guidelines for screen time.

It is not unreasonable to ask your teen to put away phones, tablets, and devices when it comes to eating a meal together or socializing in a group setting.

This may mean that you have to model what it looks like to lessen screen time in your home. By socializing exclusively online, teens miss out on opportunities to socialize in real life.

Young people may need more private accounts for their protection, and as a parent, you can help set the expectations.

Having conversations rather than passing judgment can be a way to start the discussion of screen time, especially if your teen has become overly reliant on screens for connection.

The American Psychological Association recently published an article providing guidance for parents on social media use and how to know if their use might be causing a problem.

In their article “Keeping Teens Safe on Social Media: What Parents Should Know to Protect their Kids”, the APA speaks to the vulnerability of developing brains, monitoring your teen’s use, modeling healthy use yourself, watching for problematic use, and social media literacy.

Change is not perfect, though it is inevitable. As you navigate the shift from middle school to high school, accept that mistakes will be made.

The most important part of this for your teen is that they feel safe and loved in their new environment. You may want to give them more personal responsibility as you continue to keep the safety net within your relationship strong.

You may need next steps when it comes to parenting your teen in this way, and Denver Metro Counseling can help through teen counseling, family therapy and parent support.

We can collaborate on a plan that best works for you and your child while helping to set safe boundaries within your relationship.

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Written by: Randi Thackeray, MA
Clinically Reviewed and Edited by: Julie Reichenberger, MA, LPC, ACS, ACC