Finding Balance After a Major Life Transition

Article written by Denver therapist, Shelby Aronoff

Life equals change! We cannot live our lives without constantly encountering it.

We experience each and every day differently from the next and as we do this our emotions, thoughts, relationships, and beliefs shift and change over time.

This of course impacts our own mental wellness as a whole.

We are wired to adapt and evolve to the world around us.

However, when we experience a major life transition, whether good or bad, we tend to feel overwhelmed and thrown off balance.

This is completely normal! Yet, due to this, our usual habits and routines can suddenly feel harder to maintain, our relationship dynamics may shift, and our ability to handle stress may feel more challenging than usual.

In this post, we will uncover what it may look and feel like to adapt after a major life transition and identify the need for change after a big life event in order to restore balance and mental wellness in our lives.

Understanding Major Life Transitions and their Impact on Mental Wellness

A major life transition is a period of transformation that marks the end of something that was a core part of a person’s life, and the beginning of something completely new. Such transitions can come in all shapes and forms.

Read More: “From Chaos To Clarity: How Therapy Can Help You Navigate Life’s Transitions”

They can be exciting or worrying, sudden or gradual, intentional or unintentional.

Examples include moving to a different place, becoming a parent, taking on a new career, losing a loved one, retirement, or deciding to change a core aspect of who you were in the past.

However exciting or welcome a major life transition may be, this can greatly impact our bodies and minds.

As we move towards something new and unfamiliar we are also moving away from what feels expected and safe to us.

This means that we may experience a huge feeling of loss before being able to recognize what that change may bring into our lives.

The Impact of Significant Change

It is also common to become more emotional. We may feel extreme excitement, anger, grief, or anxiety during this period of time depending on what the transition entails and our ability to regulate these emotions may not come as easily.

Our bodies can also react to a major transition. You might notice changes in your sleeping or eating habits, muscle tension, hyperactivity, fatigue, or even experience headaches or nausea.

In addition to this, our daily habits and routine may be disrupted when we face a major life transition.

People, places, or things that we used to engage with may not feel like they fit quite the same way into our lives, or the stress caused by the change may impact our ability to get things done in the same ways we have grown accustomed to.

This can impact your ability to focus, your desire to socialize with others, or your hobbies and interests.

Big life transitions not only affect our habits and emotions, but also our overall sense of identity, potentially leaving us feeling confused and uncertain.

What used to motivate or drive us in the past may no longer feel connected to us as we experience such transitions, and our own values or view of the world may come into question.

The Importance of Routine in Restoring Balance and Mental Wellness

When major life transitions cause us to experience change, we may feel a loss of control in our lives.

Read More: “Anxious About Change: 5 Tips To Manage Life Transitions”

This can cause us to feel a sense of chaos, disorganization, and discomfort. It may come with unexpected anxiety, worry, depression, sadness, or disorientation.

It is essential to take steps towards restoring balance and mental wellness in order to adapt to a big change in a healthy way.

If we do not seek out structure and routine our mental health may be negatively impacted even long after the life transition has occurred.

Tips for Establishing a New Routine and Mental Wellness in the Long Term

By identifying a new routine and providing ourselves with realistic goals we can better navigate immense change and maintain a sense of stability:

What Lights Your Fire?

Forming habits that align with our values and interests is a beneficial way to promote mental wellness as we adapt to change.

Ask yourself, “What brings me joy”? and “What is most important to me right now”?

Again! Again!

Implementing repetition into our day to day can give us a sense of stability or control.

When we consistently engage in things that are both enjoyable and important to us, we are actually communicating with our body and mind and letting ourselves know that we are in a safe space.

Accept Where You Are at Now

Sometimes a life transition can cause our values to change.

What once held great significance to us may not be as essential now. Because of this, it is useful to recognize and accept these differences.

Once we begin to do so we can identify the best way to tend to our needs.

For example, perhaps traveling abroad used to be a big passion in your life, but after having a child you realize that spending time with family is of greater importance.

Listen to your Needs

A major life transition can be very taxing and overstimulating on our system as a whole.

You might need to rest more than usual or spend more time alone.

Becoming aware of your current needs will help you to avoid physical or emotional burnout and guide you in identifying how to best spend your time.

Including self-care within your routine is a great way to allow yourself to regulate and check in with yourself on a daily basis.

Make sure your basic needs are being met, while also setting aside time to do something that allows you to feel settled and calm.

Be Patient with Yourself

Remember that adjusting to a big change can take time!

As you adjust to a new routine, do your best to set realistic expectations for yourself and remind yourself that this work is not easy.

Be as gentle and kind with yourself as you can with each step that you take.

Show yourself compassion and acknowledge that this may not be a smooth process.

The Role of Mindfulness in Restoring Mental Wellness

Using mindfulness practice as a tool after a major life transition can help ground us during a time when things may feel off

Read More: “Resistant to Change? Here Are Some Things That May Help”

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A life transition can have us feeling like we are stuck in a place between the past and the future.

Mindfulness allows us to be present in the current moment without judgement and can help us in accepting our feelings about the change.

You can use mindfulness as a way to settle both your body and mind through the use of:

• Deep breathing/awareness of breath
• Journaling/writing down thoughts and feelings without judgement
• Noticing thoughts and feelings without judgement
• Focusing on the sensations around you or in your body
• Meditation
• Imagining yourself somewhere calm/peaceful
• Intentionally releasing tension in your body
• Being fully present/aware in the moment
• Spending time being present in nature or in a calming space
• Slowing down your actions/movements
• Being intentionally still
• Disengaging from technology
• Disengaging from environments that feel overstimulating
• Practicing gratitude
• Being present with a pet or loved one

Seeking Support and Professional Help When Needed

Significant change can be hard! It is important to recognize that we do not need to go through it alone.

Major life transitions can be difficult, particularly at first, and simply letting others know what we are feeling can greatly support our mental wellness.

Identify your support system.

Ask yourself who would be willing to hold space for you as you navigate this change and reach out to them.

If you feel as if you may need additional guidance, then consider meeting with a therapist or attending a group to help you process your experience.

A therapist can provide you with insight, understanding, aid and may also be able to provide you with new prospectives.

Embrace the Change and Find your Peace

Embracing change can help you find peace by giving you the ability to let go of any resistance you may be experiencing and make space for new possibilities and experiences in your life.

As you adjust and adapt after a major life transition, if you take steps to embrace the change that comes with it then you are better able to maintain mental wellness and balance.

There may be aspects of this life transition that you did not anticipate or expect, but if you go about those with a level of acceptance then in return you will gain a sense of control and confidence.

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Denver Therapist, Shelby Aronoff

Shelby Aronoff is a licensed social worker and practicing therapist in Denver. Shelby works with teens and young adult females as they navigate life’s changes. Shelby specializes in working with ADHD, Autism level 1, anxiety, depression, trauma, and you guessed it – life transitions.

Shelby brings her passion for mindfulness and self-compassion to her work with clients, helping them navigate their wants for therapy with her own compassion, seeking to understand, and encouragement.

Shelby has advanced training in ADHD, Autism, and trauma and is trained in EMDR therapy. Learn more about Shelby in her bio and contact our intake coordinator to schedule a free consultation with her today.

You can also find her on instagram at @shelbytalkstherapy