Breaking Generational Patterns: Become A Change Maker In Your Family

Read More: “What To Know About Anxiety Due To Generational Trauma”

When you learn about your family tree and the traits that got passed on throughout your family, you may feel surprised that there is a connectedness. This is how generational patterns work. Learning to love yourself can be the answer.

You don’t have to be the reason that a generational pattern continues in your family system.

Despite the generational patterns in your childhood, you can be the change maker or person who breaks out in your family.

It can feel extremely difficult to be alone in this endeavor, and there are mental health professionals who can help you through to the other side.

Being a change maker within your family may mean:

• You no longer communicate with your family of origin.
• You seek help in recovery groups.
• You create and maintain boundaries.
• You acknowledge and heal the pain.
• You seek therapy with a trusted therapist.

The benefits of being a changemaker can include:

• You stop generational patterns for future generations.
• You learn a different way of living without repetition.
• You become a loving parent to yourself.
• You make healthy choices to build intimacy in your relationships.
• You create inner peace.
• You build a family of choice.
• You inspire other family members.
• You develop healthy boundaries.
• You learn to love yourself.
• You solve conflict without violence.
• You improve family relationships.

It is a challenging task to dismantle beliefs that have been passed on for generations in your family, and you may want to give up. Due to the effects of dysfunction, you may feel low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.

Read More: “What Are Boundaries and Why Are They Important? Learn to Set And Keep Boundaries”

Connecting and staying connected with family of origin no matter the cost can be praised in society. You may feel societal pressure to do what has always been done because of a previous generation.

Unlearning dysfunctional behaviors can be a gradual process, and you will likely need support to continue. Recovery and trauma groups can be helpful to navigate the pain and feel connected when your family of origin doesn’t feel like an option.

During separation, it can be important not to gaslight yourself, especially if you have experienced gaslighting from the adults in your life as a child.

Recovery and support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-Anon, and Adult Children of Alcoholics and other process or trauma groups can help you to stay connected and supported as you navigate stopping generational patterns in your life.

The work of being a changemaker in your family is nearly impossible to do alone, and there is help available to you. If you aren’t sure whether you grew up with dysfunctional family patterns, think about what traits are important in your family.

Your parents don’t have to abuse drugs or alcohol to be dysfunctional. Sometimes, dysfunction can show up in the form of religious abuse or even extreme codependency.

There is help available, and you don’t have to break a generational pattern or behavior alone. At DMC, we take a trauma-informed approach when it comes to therapy and can help you heal from traits that are no longer serving you. You have choices when it comes to change, and you deserve a life with happiness.

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Written by: Randi Thackeray, MA
Clinically Reviewed and Edited by: Julie Reichenberger, MA, LPC, ACS, ACC