ADHD: A Difference, not a Deficit

Article written by Denver Therapist, Shelby Aronoff

When you see the name Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD, what first comes to mind?

The term can be a bit misleading.

Read More: “A Guide To Fostering An Open Mind & Embracing Different Perspectives”

Because of its name, there seems to be an ongoing stigma that ADHD is the inability to focus, when it truly is a brain style difference that does not stop our ABILITY to focus, but rather changes the WAY that we focus.

Because of the way in which ADHD is often thought of, people who have it can be labeled and judged as being unmotivated, unreliable, or indecisive.

Perhaps you have ADHD and at times have believed this about yourself and feel you are a burden to yourself or others.

When we try to ask those with ADHD to do things that do not support their ADHD brain style, they may feel like they are set up to fail in a world that was not made for them, and this may lead to an increase in mental health issues such as depression or anxiety.

When we think of ADHD as nothing more than a deficit, we are not able to see the whole picture and appreciate all of the creative, and unique ways in which the ADHD population sees the world.

In this post we will define what having ADHD really means, explore thinking through an ADHD lens, and discuss how viewing ADHD as a difference instead of a deficit can truly change the game!

ADHD and Neurodiversity

People with ADHD are considered to be neurodiverse.

This means that there are individuals with neurological differences that cause variations in our brains.

In order to understand this better, imagine that you are tending to the plants and flowers in a garden.

Although they are all plants, each one grows and thrives differently. Some may need plenty of sun while others need shade. Some may need to be watered every day while others only once a week.

When you think of the plants that need more water, do you consider them to be weak because of this?

Most likely you just view them as being different!

Just like the plants in a garden, we are all wired differently. What works for others may not always work for us.

Someone who is neurodivergent may communicate, learn, or think differently from the majority.

But when they are supported in a way that meets their needs and accepts their differences, they have the opportunity to flourish and succeed.

So, if people with ADHD have neurodiverse brains, then how does this change and influence their needs?

Looking Through the Lens of the ADHD Brain

The “YES!” Center

ADHD brains receive dopamine differently than a neurotypical brain.

Dopamine is the “YES!” chemical.

It is the rush of excitement, joy, or achievement that we feel when we get things done or do things that bring us pleasure.

Dopamine sends messages to your brain and your entire body, impacting things in us such as learning, mood, motivation, memory, and more.

If you have ADHD, then the way that you motivate yourself to get things done may look and feel different than those around you.

Those with ADHD may need to listen to music while they complete a task, do things in a different order, take more breaks in between, or break down tasks into smaller steps.

These techniques help the ADHD brain interact with the reward center of the brain in a way where they may be better able to get that YES! feeling.

When a person with ADHD does find or consider something to be meaningful, they have the capability to experience that thing with immense passion, focus, and excitement.

When this is felt, the ADHD brain actually has the ability to hyperfocus on a given task.

When trying to support and encourage someone with ADHD, or when trying to be compassionate towards yourself, it may be helpful to take the time to understand their or your own values, learn what is most important, and recognize that there might be more than one way to get things done.

There’s More than Meets the Eye With ADHD

Adults and teens with ADHD are very intuitive, meaning that they can respond to and pick up on small details within their environment.

Read More: “Unlocking Your Full Potential: Strategies for Adulting with ADHD”

This can be a huge strength. It can help them to empathize with others, see things from multiple points of view, and allow them to view things through a more creative lens.

If you have ADHD, then you are wired to learn and process information in a non-linear manner. This means that you have the ability to find innovative ways to solve problems.

People with ADHD can be deep thinkers and may be very sensitive to the things around them that others may overlook.

When supporting people who have ADHD, it is important to give them the opportunity to speak their mind, share their perspectives, and give them permission to look at and explore the things that stand out to them as important.

Someone with ADHD can experience so many thoughts and ideas that at times it can be difficult to express or put into words what it is they are experiencing.

However, with a little patience and curiosity, a treasure trove of ideas and passions can be found.

Lean Into Your Strengths with ADHD!

When it comes to any circumstance in life, we usually have two options: to focus on the positive or the negative.

The problem with ADHD is that it is generally viewed as a challenge or a weakness from the get-go.

When we learn that someone has been diagnosed with ADHD we tend to ask, “Oh wow that must be hard, how do you manage that?”

Even upon being diagnosed with ADHD you might hear your primary care physician or psychiatrist say “This is what you must do in order to overcome these challenges…”

Although the advice that we receive may be useful, it is time to begin to speak to ADHD in a new way.

Instead, let’s begin asking those with ADHD about their experiences through a strengths-focused lens.

When we do so, we avoid negatively influencing their journey, perspective, and promote their differences.

We also give the ADHD and neurodivergent population the opportunity to shed more light on how we may best support them and cater to their needs, rather than attempting to have them adjust so that they fulfill the needs of others.

Like anyone, our strengths aren’t used to their full potential until we are placed in an environment that recognizes and supports them.

Individuals with ADHD are no different!

Let’s say that you are extremely good at tennis. If you are forced to play volleyball instead, then no one gets to see your amazing skillsets and you won’t feel like you are able to successfully contribute to the team.

Imagine how frustrating this would feel to experience.

By leaning into strengths and accepting that each person possesses differences in their strengths and skills, those of us with ADHD may feel more confident, motivated, and equipped to succeed.

The Takeaway: Viewing ADHD Through A Strengths-based lens

A diagnosis of ADHD does not have to be a disadvantage.

Read More: “How To Make Lasting Changes With ADHD/ADD”

Instead, learning about, understanding, and adapting to an ADHD individual’s strengths and skillsets may be the first step to success.

If we listen actively to what someone with ADHD claims they are struggling with and take the time to understand what matters to them, then we can promote their strengths and give them the opportunity to put their unique skills to use.

There are so many ways in which we can recognize the differences in the ADHD brain as strengths. And each strength is unique to each and every individual.

If you or someone you know has ADHD, take some time to get more acquainted with these skills. By leaning into these strengths, we may have the chance to grow and progress in ways that we otherwise never thought possible.

Do not try to ask someone with ADHD to change who they are, but instead celebrate their diverse and innovative ways of thinking.

If you have ADHD, then take the time to focus on what works for you rather than what works for others.

When we put someone in a box, they are most likely going to feel stuck. And most importantly, we need to recognize that ADHD is a difference in learning and thinking, but not a deficit.

This may seem like a small change in thinking, but this can completely alter the way in which we go about getting and receiving support and will create more space for acceptance and success!

The next time you hear or see the term ADHD, see what happens when you look past the name, and instead see the person behind it.

If you’re curious about ways to better support you or someone you love with ADHD, engaging in ADHD therapy with a therapist who specializes in ADHD can be a really positive step.

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Denver Therapist, Shelby Aronoff

Shelby Aronoff is an ADHD therapist in Denver, Colorado who works with teen girls and young adult women with ADHD, autism, depression, anxiety, and trauma.

Shelby takes a strengths-based approach to therapy and takes time to understand each unique person she works with.

Shelby leads with compassion, curiosity, and open-heartedness.

If you are a young woman or teen girl with ADHD who would like to work with an ADHD specialist in Denver, reach out schedule a consult with Shelby. She may be the right fit for you!

In addition to providing ADHD therapy in Denver, Shelby also provides therapy for anxiety, therapy for depression, therapy for level 1 autism, EMDR therapy, DBT therapy and more.